[Closed] akemi/sylas - vertumnus

Sylas Grey

What a strange place he was trapped in! And he had some Thoughts about the construction of it, don't get him wrong, but he just really didn't think anyone else would be interested in listening to his architectural musings. As he roamed the hallways of the third weirdest institution he'd ever been inside (second place being a deliberately weird escape room, first place being his mate Bazza's house that he built himself and somehow made Groverhaus 2), he couldn't help but notice the kitchen. The kitchen with a lady in it. The kitchen with a lady in it that's staring at

Is that just spinach?

Oh no. Oh, no no no. This must be a really fancy sheila. Only the fanciest people eat salad. He can already feel the sweat starting to bead. But it'd be awkward if he just left without saying anything, so with a wave…

"Er, g'day…. there! Miss Ma'am! You, uh, y'look like those spinch leaves owe you money…! Everything alright? With, uh. Your spinch?"

Emmy | Akemi

"I have no idea where anything is in this godforsaken place." She responds. "I would prefer to eat more than dry spinach leaves, but it seems as though very few of us are getting what we want today."

She turns and begins to simply open every cabinet she can reach, seeking anything of use.

"I don't imagine you have any idea where I might find dried cranberries or walnuts."

Sylas Grey

"Whoa… dried cranberries? How d'you dry them? I thought those only came in juice form."

Clueless as ever, he also starts opening and closing cabinets. He eventually does find a bottle of salad dressing and holds it out, equal parts hopeful and afraid. If this Intimidating Purple Lady accepts the offering then it bodes well for him! If she doesn't, errrr, he's already anxious enough as it is so he might cry a little. On the inside.

"How 'bout some dressing? So your spinch won't be, like, naked and dry? Those are two of th' worst things fer spinch to be."

Emmy | Akemi

Oh great. An idiot. How useful.

"They're like raisins." She explains in the same tone one might tell a child that they're an utter disappointment.

Just what language was this person speaking? She opted not to question nor correct the word 'spinch,' lest the outcome of that exchange raise her blood pressure. She found it odd enough that she could understand this obviously foreign individual.

She takes the bottle of dressing and looks it over. Not her preferred dressing, of course, but she sets it by her bowl nonetheless in case nothing better comes along.

"That much I suppose is true. Now, am I to assume you also have no memory of arriving here, and that you are not from Japan?"

Sylas Grey

Okay. So she clearly thinks he's a dipshit, which is bad. But she accepted the bottle of dressing, which is good. Two wrongs make a right and a 50% is a passing grade so we're home free! He perks up slightly.

"Yep, that's right. Uh, no memory, and… Japan? Why would I be from Japan? Wait, are you from Japan? D-did they knock you out and ship you over to Australia? Or did I get knocked out and shipped over to Japan?! Whoa… I guess they're pretty close together since they're islands and all, so that makes sense!"

He has not looked at a map of the Earth since Grade 3.

Emmy | Akemi

"Australia. Right." She repeats.

"No, I very much doubt I've been sent to Australia from Japan. Thus far I have met one other person from Japan, who seems fairly reasonable, albeit overly chipper given our situation, and an apparent Enemy of the State from America who believes we're all dead. I can find very few obvious links between any of us, except that any number of us may have made some kind of powerful enemy who wished to send us here."

Giving up on the prospect of delicious dried cranberries, Akemi opts to simply grab a few other acceptable vegetables to throw into the Disappointment Salad. Sad.

Sylas Grey

"I see, I see." He nods thoughtfully as he listens along. While she's grabbing the Acceptable Vegetables, he's on a different path of grabbing… milk. Just milk? Yeah. I guess he's after a glass of milk. Sylas might not be blessed with intelligence but he's certainly been blessed with lactose tolerance.

"Quick question, what's an Enemy of the State? Which state are we talking about? Like… solid, liquid, gas, the mysterious fourth one they kinda talked about in high school…?"

Emmy | Akemi

Akemi pauses midway through opening the bottle of salad dressing, taking a beat to just acknowledge the insanity of that question.

"She implied that the United States Government would have cause to harm her or otherwise see her as an enemy. Whether that was true or not is anyone's guess."

She finishes assembling her Disappointment Salad and simply stares at it for a time. Maybe this was Hell after all.

"I don't suppose you can think of anyone who would want to hurt you or send you here?"

Sylas Grey

Sylas boggles a little bit. "Whoa, that sounds really cool but also kinda scary. Like a movie character or something? James Bond? Mister Impossible? I-is there lady spies, uh… Carmen San Diego… well. Anyway. Wait,"

His head tilts like a confused dog. What sort of a question is that?

"Um… no? I, I think I'm pretty well liked by most everyone who meets me? That's like, people say that's one of the few things I do well, actually! I'm "a good carpenter" and I'm "not irritating". Those are real things that people said to my face before!"

Emmy | Akemi

"I cannot say how truthful she was, but she had the look of someone who might find their way into that kind of trouble."

She stares at Sylas, not seeming to fully buy that story.

"How nice. I am trying to determine what each captive here has in common, and thus far most of my theories are not conclusive. Either everyone here is worth a ransom, has made powerful enemies, or has done something deemed worthy of an elaborate punishment."

Sylas Grey

“Hmmmm…”

That has him thinking, for all the good that Sylas Thoughts are worth. His brow creases as he ponders on her words.

“Uh… my family isn’t well off enough for me to get ransomed. And I don’t think anyone dislikes me. And I also haven’t done anythin’ wrong in recent history, unless y’count, like, refusing to let some dickhead in a Tesla merge in front of you on the freeway…?!”

Emmy | Akemi

"I cannot pretend to know what our host, or hosts, constitute as a punishment-worthy act. Either you've done something, or you're the one miraculously innocent person here. Have you neglected to follow any vital building codes lately, perhaps?"

Her tone indicates a level of sarcasm that may or may not get picked up by poor Sylas here. She doesn't believe a word of the whole 'everyone likes me' thing.

Sylas Grey

He stares into the distance, clearly running through his last few jobs in his head.

"…Noooo… they've all been pretty structural. I did do a bit of the painting on the last site and kinda fu- bugg- messed it up, but I don't think that's like, illegal? I mean, uhhh- did, uh, did you do something that's worth being punished for?"

Emmy | Akemi

"I don't believe I have. Whatever law I may have broken likely deserved to be broken." She says firmly, "Though, I suppose we will have to contend with whatever our host's definition of 'punishment worthy' is. To them, perhaps a poor paint job and bad driving manners are enough."

Sylas Grey

"Bad driving manners…?"

His eyebrows raise. Slowly. To the heavens.

"Oh my God, do you think Tesla locked me in here for bein' a hater? Wait, are you a hater? Of Tesla or somethin' else???"

Emmy | Akemi

This man truly had no idea.

"My entire job revolves around criticism, so to put it in perhaps the least elegant way possible, yes. I am"

Not that she imagined it had anything to do with why she was here. She was fairly certain she knew who was to blame for this.

"Though I am doubtful that being…haters…is the precise reason we are here."

She says the word 'hater' as though someone will take away her smart-person license for using it.

Sylas Grey

"What…..? You're a professional hater?! Y-you can get paid to do that?! I mean, shit, I wouldn't be able to 'cause people keep tellin' me I'm way too nice about everything but damn that's crazy! If my sister-in-law knew she'd do that for sure! How do you get hired to be a hater????"

Emmy | Akemi

"An art critic. In essence, I go to art exhibits, and write reviews which reflect upon how successful said artist was in their endeavors. I am only paid to do so if a publication deems my writings on said art worth publishing."

Sylas Grey

He actively makes a face like he ate a lemon.

"Oh…….. Wow…………………………………………………………………. okay…………………………………….."

And then there's a very

long

pause.

"……………………………………………………..So, the things I make aren't art or nothin', so you can't say anythin' about my successfulness or whatnot, okay, 'cause they're just houses an' they hold up real good,"

Sylas why the fuck are you defensive about this of all things

Emmy | Akemi

That was…about the usual reaction she got when discussing her work. She hardly seems fazed.

"I have little interest in critiquing your carpentry work. Architecture does not interest me, nor do crafts. It is up to code enforcement and the weather to judge if what you do is any good."

She says, in such a way it's difficult to tell if she meant it as a reassurance or as an insult.