[Closed] akemi/sylas - vertumnus

Emmy | Akemi

Akemi pauses midway through opening the bottle of salad dressing, taking a beat to just acknowledge the insanity of that question.

"She implied that the United States Government would have cause to harm her or otherwise see her as an enemy. Whether that was true or not is anyone's guess."

She finishes assembling her Disappointment Salad and simply stares at it for a time. Maybe this was Hell after all.

"I don't suppose you can think of anyone who would want to hurt you or send you here?"

Sylas Grey

Sylas boggles a little bit. "Whoa, that sounds really cool but also kinda scary. Like a movie character or something? James Bond? Mister Impossible? I-is there lady spies, uh… Carmen San Diego… well. Anyway. Wait,"

His head tilts like a confused dog. What sort of a question is that?

"Um… no? I, I think I'm pretty well liked by most everyone who meets me? That's like, people say that's one of the few things I do well, actually! I'm "a good carpenter" and I'm "not irritating". Those are real things that people said to my face before!"

Emmy | Akemi

"I cannot say how truthful she was, but she had the look of someone who might find their way into that kind of trouble."

She stares at Sylas, not seeming to fully buy that story.

"How nice. I am trying to determine what each captive here has in common, and thus far most of my theories are not conclusive. Either everyone here is worth a ransom, has made powerful enemies, or has done something deemed worthy of an elaborate punishment."

Sylas Grey

“Hmmmm…”

That has him thinking, for all the good that Sylas Thoughts are worth. His brow creases as he ponders on her words.

“Uh… my family isn’t well off enough for me to get ransomed. And I don’t think anyone dislikes me. And I also haven’t done anythin’ wrong in recent history, unless y’count, like, refusing to let some dickhead in a Tesla merge in front of you on the freeway…?!”

Emmy | Akemi

"I cannot pretend to know what our host, or hosts, constitute as a punishment-worthy act. Either you've done something, or you're the one miraculously innocent person here. Have you neglected to follow any vital building codes lately, perhaps?"

Her tone indicates a level of sarcasm that may or may not get picked up by poor Sylas here. She doesn't believe a word of the whole 'everyone likes me' thing.

Sylas Grey

He stares into the distance, clearly running through his last few jobs in his head.

"…Noooo… they've all been pretty structural. I did do a bit of the painting on the last site and kinda fu- bugg- messed it up, but I don't think that's like, illegal? I mean, uhhh- did, uh, did you do something that's worth being punished for?"

Emmy | Akemi

"I don't believe I have. Whatever law I may have broken likely deserved to be broken." She says firmly, "Though, I suppose we will have to contend with whatever our host's definition of 'punishment worthy' is. To them, perhaps a poor paint job and bad driving manners are enough."

Sylas Grey

"Bad driving manners…?"

His eyebrows raise. Slowly. To the heavens.

"Oh my God, do you think Tesla locked me in here for bein' a hater? Wait, are you a hater? Of Tesla or somethin' else???"

Emmy | Akemi

This man truly had no idea.

"My entire job revolves around criticism, so to put it in perhaps the least elegant way possible, yes. I am"

Not that she imagined it had anything to do with why she was here. She was fairly certain she knew who was to blame for this.

"Though I am doubtful that being…haters…is the precise reason we are here."

She says the word 'hater' as though someone will take away her smart-person license for using it.

Sylas Grey

"What…..? You're a professional hater?! Y-you can get paid to do that?! I mean, shit, I wouldn't be able to 'cause people keep tellin' me I'm way too nice about everything but damn that's crazy! If my sister-in-law knew she'd do that for sure! How do you get hired to be a hater????"

Emmy | Akemi

"An art critic. In essence, I go to art exhibits, and write reviews which reflect upon how successful said artist was in their endeavors. I am only paid to do so if a publication deems my writings on said art worth publishing."

Sylas Grey

He actively makes a face like he ate a lemon.

"Oh…….. Wow…………………………………………………………………. okay…………………………………….."

And then there's a very

long

pause.

"……………………………………………………..So, the things I make aren't art or nothin', so you can't say anythin' about my successfulness or whatnot, okay, 'cause they're just houses an' they hold up real good,"

Sylas why the fuck are you defensive about this of all things

Emmy | Akemi

That was…about the usual reaction she got when discussing her work. She hardly seems fazed.

"I have little interest in critiquing your carpentry work. Architecture does not interest me, nor do crafts. It is up to code enforcement and the weather to judge if what you do is any good."

She says, in such a way it's difficult to tell if she meant it as a reassurance or as an insult.

Sylas Grey

"Oh, sick. Also if you see me whittling a little wombat or whatever that counts as architecture so you can't be mean to me about it"

Emmy | Akemi

"….naturally." she pans. This man is utterly mystifying to Akemi, to the point where she truly has no idea if it is even worth it to insult him. Likely not.

"Well, this has been an…..enlightening discussion. I will leave you to prepare your meal and finish mine in peace." With that, she picks up her Disappointment Salad and begins to take her leave.

Sylas Grey

"Strewth, it sure has been. Enjoy your salad, miss!"

He waves her off with a dopey smile on his face and goes to finish whatever food he was making. I don't remember. Was I making him eat beans out of a can? Something like that.

Godspeed to you, Akemi.