burger with the lot

Ellie Carter

Ellie finds Sylus looking through the pantry of the kitchen and sneaks up behind him, not unlike to another person she approached earlier in the kitchen. He sounds Australian and… overall, very normal compared to some of the others here.

"Hey! Looking for milk for your sister? You're that guy, right?"

Sylas Grey

"WHOAMYGOD JOIIIZZZUS-"

Sylas is a normal-ass guy and was too engrossed in pantry raiding to notice getting snuck up on. He shrieks once due to the shock of being jumpscared and then he shrieks again because it's Ellie who's jumpscared him and he is, as a general rule, not well equipped to deal with Sudden Charismatic Older Woman Events. (SCOWE for short, a well known phenomenon. My sources: Trust Me)

"IiiiiiIIIIIii yyyyyes. Thaaat's, uh, th-that's me, uh, Sylas, The Milk Guy, th- wait that's not, a good name, uhhh, just- Sylas! Syyylas Grey! Nice to meet you, um, Miss, Ma'am, uh… L-lady???? Can I! Help! You?!?!?"

Ellie Carter

She knows a guy who's been stunlocked when she sees one. She leans closer with a grin.

"Hmmm, well, have you found a way out of here? Ooooor, you got any idea how we got here? Or are you a good cook? If not, nah, I don't know if you can help me."

Sylas Grey

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII no no but yes! I can! Cook! Wh, what were you feeling like??? Eating???? I can make … jaffles! And beans on toast! And my sister-in-law taught me egg ceviche once but I don't know if that's actually legal to make in a lot of countries and I dunno if this is Australia so maybe I can't make that for you!!!!"

What a brutal stunlock.

Ellie Carter

What the fuck is a jaffle? A waffle with jam? The other two sound plain bad, so she goes with that one.

"Hmmmmmm, okay. I'll take the jaffle."

She props herself up to sit on the kitchen counter, swinging her legs a little.

"I'm Ellie Carter. You can call me Miss Carter."

She hasn't told anyone else to call her that. But she's having fun. Can you blame her. She's just a girl having fun…

Sylas Grey

"Oh ! ! ! !"

You can see Sylas turning into a corn cob in real time as he hastily pivots and starts assembling Jaffle Supplies, mostly because if he keeps looking at her he's going to combust from raw anxiety.

"Okay, uh, Miss Carter!! Got it!! One, uh, one jaffle comin' up," so the thing is that jaffles are basically, like, what americans call "Uncrustables" except toasted. the other thing is that jaffles tend to have weirder fillings than Uncrustables and that is why Sylas is opening a can of spaghetti.

"Get ready to experience, um, premium Australian cuisine!!!" She will die in 2 posts.

Ellie Carter

"Boy, I know what a jaffle is. I asked you to make me one, didn't I?"

She did not know what a jaffle is. She is lying for fun. She watches him start to assemble his work, and hit him with another bomb.

"By the way… are those shorts or boxers? Are you not wearing pants?"

She tilts her head to get a better view.

Sylas Grey

Sylas feels like he's going to dissolve like a powerpoint transition.

"Wh- What??? They're shorts?! Regular SHORTS! I'm not goin' around in my underoos in a bloody prison!!!! Have you never seen a bloke in shorts before????? They don't do that in your country????????"

Ellie Carter

"Oh, really? Sure, we do, but…"

She covers her mouth with a hand.

"They're just… so striped!"

Sylas Grey

"Is… there… like… a problem with striped shorts??? That I'm not aware of???"

Ellie Carter

"Nah? Why would there be?"

She asks, as if she wasn't the one who planted the idea there was.

Sylas Grey

"……………………………………………………………………………I'm going to get back to makin' food now if that's okay with you Miss Carter."

His hands are trembling slightly as he gets his bread and goes to start cutting the crusts off.

Ellie Carter

She swings her leg as she sits on the counter, quietly watching him cook. He looks young. Probably the same age as some of her friends. Maybe she should stop teasing him. She tries to recall the name she just learned.

"… Sooo, Syyyylas? What do you do? You a student or somethin'?"

Sylas Grey

He laughs a little bit.

"Eh? A student? I'm not that young, Miss Carter! I'm a carpenter! Finished my studies a hell of a long time ago! Now I build houses. And furniture. And other things. Basically whatever you need made outta wood I can whip up."

Ellie Carter

Oh good, a normal respectable sort of job. Not something made up like art critic or accountant. Well, maybe one of those is real.

"You look young! How old are ya? How'd you get into somethin' like that? The main woodshop in my town is— was?— family-run. Went to school with their kid. Annoying ass kid, to be honest."

Sylas Grey

"I'm 25, Miss Carter. I did an apprenticeship through TAFE and just went into the workforce from there. Not a family thing or anythin'… well, my older brother did work at a hardware store for a bit. That uh,"

He laughs nervously.

"Ended badly. Workplace safety is real important. Anywayyyy, what d'you do for a job?"

Ellie Carter

She makes a little 'tut-tut' noise at him.

"Hey, if you insist 25 ain't young, you're gonna make a gal like me feel old!! Anyway, isn't that obvious? Yarrrrrrr."

She makes a hook motion with her hand.

"I'm a pirate! Whatever though, is your brother okay? What happened? I hope he got a sweet worker's comp payout."

Sylas Grey

"um, well, you know, like, those…. twizzler fake licorice type things you get at the store"

Ellie Carter

He could just say the guy fucking died in a normal way. This is why she never wanted factory work. Ellie pauses.

"Damn. Well. Sorry to hear that."

Sylas Grey

"We did get a worker's comp payout, but it was sort of just given to us as a family. Since by that point Mum was gone and none of us have any idea who our various dads are."

Sylas shrugs.

"It is what it is! How'd you get into piracy? Is the uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh tattoo situation mandatory for that????"