burger with the lot

Sylas Grey

"Oh ! ! ! !"

You can see Sylas turning into a corn cob in real time as he hastily pivots and starts assembling Jaffle Supplies, mostly because if he keeps looking at her he's going to combust from raw anxiety.

"Okay, uh, Miss Carter!! Got it!! One, uh, one jaffle comin' up," so the thing is that jaffles are basically, like, what americans call "Uncrustables" except toasted. the other thing is that jaffles tend to have weirder fillings than Uncrustables and that is why Sylas is opening a can of spaghetti.

"Get ready to experience, um, premium Australian cuisine!!!" She will die in 2 posts.

Ellie Carter

"Boy, I know what a jaffle is. I asked you to make me one, didn't I?"

She did not know what a jaffle is. She is lying for fun. She watches him start to assemble his work, and hit him with another bomb.

"By the way… are those shorts or boxers? Are you not wearing pants?"

She tilts her head to get a better view.

Sylas Grey

Sylas feels like he's going to dissolve like a powerpoint transition.

"Wh- What??? They're shorts?! Regular SHORTS! I'm not goin' around in my underoos in a bloody prison!!!! Have you never seen a bloke in shorts before????? They don't do that in your country????????"

Ellie Carter

"Oh, really? Sure, we do, but…"

She covers her mouth with a hand.

"They're just… so striped!"

Sylas Grey

"Is… there… like… a problem with striped shorts??? That I'm not aware of???"

Ellie Carter

"Nah? Why would there be?"

She asks, as if she wasn't the one who planted the idea there was.

Sylas Grey

"……………………………………………………………………………I'm going to get back to makin' food now if that's okay with you Miss Carter."

His hands are trembling slightly as he gets his bread and goes to start cutting the crusts off.

Ellie Carter

She swings her leg as she sits on the counter, quietly watching him cook. He looks young. Probably the same age as some of her friends. Maybe she should stop teasing him. She tries to recall the name she just learned.

"… Sooo, Syyyylas? What do you do? You a student or somethin'?"

Sylas Grey

He laughs a little bit.

"Eh? A student? I'm not that young, Miss Carter! I'm a carpenter! Finished my studies a hell of a long time ago! Now I build houses. And furniture. And other things. Basically whatever you need made outta wood I can whip up."

Ellie Carter

Oh good, a normal respectable sort of job. Not something made up like art critic or accountant. Well, maybe one of those is real.

"You look young! How old are ya? How'd you get into somethin' like that? The main woodshop in my town is— was?— family-run. Went to school with their kid. Annoying ass kid, to be honest."

Sylas Grey

"I'm 25, Miss Carter. I did an apprenticeship through TAFE and just went into the workforce from there. Not a family thing or anythin'… well, my older brother did work at a hardware store for a bit. That uh,"

He laughs nervously.

"Ended badly. Workplace safety is real important. Anywayyyy, what d'you do for a job?"

Ellie Carter

She makes a little 'tut-tut' noise at him.

"Hey, if you insist 25 ain't young, you're gonna make a gal like me feel old!! Anyway, isn't that obvious? Yarrrrrrr."

She makes a hook motion with her hand.

"I'm a pirate! Whatever though, is your brother okay? What happened? I hope he got a sweet worker's comp payout."

Sylas Grey

"um, well, you know, like, those…. twizzler fake licorice type things you get at the store"

Ellie Carter

He could just say the guy fucking died in a normal way. This is why she never wanted factory work. Ellie pauses.

"Damn. Well. Sorry to hear that."

Sylas Grey

"We did get a worker's comp payout, but it was sort of just given to us as a family. Since by that point Mum was gone and none of us have any idea who our various dads are."

Sylas shrugs.

"It is what it is! How'd you get into piracy? Is the uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh tattoo situation mandatory for that????"

Ellie Carter

Not a crazy story. Just kind of sad and normal. She rubs the back of her neck. Let's change the subject!

She leans forward, highly amused by his very long pause. "Yeah, you like the tattoos? A pirate girl has got to have her tats. I've got more under."

She just brushes past the question on how she got into it.

Sylas Grey

"Damn. That's crazy."

He does not ask about the 'more under' because even he can tell that's territory that would be way too dangerous to step into. He instead redirects his energy into jaffling. Pointedly.

What eventually manifests for Ellie to eat is a somewhat messier made Uncrustable, toasted and filled with spaghetti from a can.

"Here!!!! For you!!!!!!!!"

Ellie Carter

She finds his pointed jaffling very amused, until he hands it to her. This is so fucked up. She said earlier that she knew what a jaffle is just to lie for fun, but now she's going to be caught in a completely pointless lie if she questions it.

Toast… and spaghetti… That's just wheat and more wheat. And why was the spaghetti in a can?

But, you know. She's a single woman in her late 30s with no kids and no boyfriend and redacted and redacted and you'd best believe she's had some girl dinners of all time. She looks at that jaffle and thinks to herself, you know what, this might as well happen.

"Okay!" and she takes a bite.

Sylas Grey

Sylas is slowly backing up because if she says one nasty thing about his beloved spaghettijaffle he's going to forreal run out the room.

Ellie Carter

"…"

"… it's interesting."