Murder Charges Be Damned, My Boy Can Work A Grill

Tatsuko Onizuka

This has, by far, got to be one of the worst days of Tatsuko's life. Easily top 10. Even though the door to her cell was unlocked (What kind of prison has security this lax? She's honestly a bit unimpressed, though she's not complaining), there seemed to be no way out of this awful place.

Still in a foul mood, Tatsuko wanders around, eventually making her way to the kitchen. Well, that makes things a little easier. At least she can make herself something to eat. Maybe a quick snack will make her feel a little less annoyed. First things first, Tatsuko turns on the electric burner on the stove, before turning around and looking at the ingredients and to something out.

Hey, nobody ever said she was safe in the kitchen.

Bow-wow

Unsuprisingly for someone of his age and for someone who doesn't technically work in a kitchen, Bow-Wow has zero complaints about the blatant disregard for safety concerns as he walks into the kitchen.

"Well, you look like you've got your tail in a twist!" He comments innocently. "Is there anything I can do to help?" He tilts his head- registering that this woman was wearing horns… finally, a fellow 'weirdo'.

Tatsuko Onizuka

"Yeah, yeah, something like that. Got anything to eat? I'm starving." Tatsuko replies before she turns around, and nearly knocks some ingredients off the shelves with the force with which she jumps back in shock upon seeing the strange newcomer's mask.

"Gah! Holy shit, it's the fucking K9 unit! You can't arrest me if I'm already in jail!" She glances around for something vaguely spherical and ball-shaped. Maybe if she threw it for him, she'd get a chance to run away. In doing so, she finally noticed the human body attached to the dog head -- which in and of itself was just a mask.

She sighed in relief. "Oh, so you're locked in here too. Didn't know they sent dogs to prison now. Kind of fucked up if you ask me."

Bow-wow

"Well, I don't have anythin' on me, but I can cook!" Bow-Wow chirps enthusiastically. He does jump a little at the sudden way she swings around and almost knocks everything flying, but is even more amused by the reaction to his mask.

"Woof woof! Grrrr!" Oh, this really didn't take long for him to begin breaking out the dog impression. "Unfortunately, I ain't the K9 unit! I'm Bow-Wow!"

"Sorry for the scare, ma'am, but I'm just as trapped here as all of y'all! Of course, I ain't really a dog and all, but I guess if ya wanna think of me that way, be my guest!" His momma always taught him good ol' Southern Hospitality, after all. "But I second that I can cook somethin' if ya want!"

Tatsuko Onizuka

Tatsuko can't help but snort out a laugh at Bow-Wow's dog impression. She respects the commitment to the bit. "Nice to meet ya, Bow-Wow! Name's Tatsuko Onizuka. Never met a dog that could actually 'speak' before. Guess they just weren't trying hard enough." She laughs. "Nah, I'm not actually that hungry, just bored. But I wouldn't say no to free food."

She leans forward, investigative and curious. "So if you're not actually a dog, what's the mask for? Are you one of those fuckin'… uh, theme park workers? Shit, I always knew those guys were sketchy. Either that or one of those serial killers that wear masks so nobody figures out who they are." She pauses a bit before smirking, clearly amused with herself. "Wait, wait, please say it's the second one. In that mask? That would be so fucking funny."

Bow-wow

"I'm a man of many talents!" Is he now? Really? Where? "Ya got a good point, free food ain't nothin' to complain 'bout, shame we gotta go to prison to get it!" He laughs that semi-nasally laugh, even going so far as to hold his sides as if his joke was that funny.

"BZZZT! Unfortunately for you, it's closer to the first! It's 'cause I'm a mascot for my high school baseball team! I kinda just got attached to the mascot and all." And yet… this was not a baseball game, NOR a baseball game promotional event.

"I actually work at the mall! I run the most popular food cart in the entire food court!" Maybe… he's exaggerating that part.

Tatsuko Onizuka

She shrugs. "Hey, no need to go to jail for free food. All food is free if you just take it and don't pay. Easy-peasy lemon steal-zy. Wait, shit, no, that didn't rhyme. Dammit, thought I was onto something." So she's just going to ignore the fact that she just brought up stealing food to a food court worker. Ok.

"Gotcha, but why're you still wearing that mask here? Don't think this is a baseball game, or a high school." She thinks for a moment before snapping her fingers with a realization. "You hiding your face from whoever brought us here? Smart move! Never let the cops know who you really are. Shit, I should have thought of that." Well, it's not like she knew she was going to be arrested when she got dressed this morning.

"Ooh? Sounds kinda lame, but what kinda food?"

Bow-wow

"I ain't ever stole nothin' an' I don't wanna steal nothin'!" Bow-Wow seems mortified at the idea, whether that be for moral reasons or, 'terrified of what would happen if he got caught by his family' reasons. "People bother me for free food all the time! I've had…" He winces.

"I-I've had like… eight warnings in the past month for givin' out freebies… I don't like people goin' hungry, but the luck never comes back t'me!"

He had been about to respond with an earnest reply to Tatsuko's questions on his mask, but then she gives the perfect excuse, and he nods furiously. "Exactly! I g-gotta make sure they gotta work ta figure out who I am."

"Hotdogs! They're easy, simple, take only a few minutes, and they sell like… well… hotdogs! Delicious, not-so-nutritious, but good for the soul!" Ignoring the fact he basically said 'simple' three times in a very 'can i copy your homework, sure but don't make it obvious' manner, he seems pretty passionate about his job!

Tatsuko Onizuka

Tatsuko tsks, having the gall to look disappointed in Bow-Wow. "Wow, aren't you such a good boy. Bet you were the kind of kid to tell the teacher on the kids who cheated on tests or started fires in the schoolyard. Fucking buzzkills." She frowns, as if speaking from experience. "No wonder your customers are taking advantage of you. What'd a guy like you even do to get thrown in prison? Accidentally give someone food poisoning?"

She does perk up a bit more at the mention of hotdogs. "Oh, cool, I love hotdogs! Nutrition is for nerds."

Bow-wow

"N-No! I ain't ever been a teacher's pet!" Liar. Liar liar pants on fire. "…Okay- Maybe… years ago!"

He looks dejected, sad that he's clearly upset Tatsuko so much.

"W-Well. I… Y'know." No, Bow-Wow. We don't know. "I did a bad thing that gets people put in prison, obviously!" He did not wanna talk about it- let alone with a woman who had just called him disappointing for saying stealing was bad… yeah, sure, she'd probably think his crime was good, but he didn't want someone to justify it!

Tatsuko Onizuka

To be fair, Bow-Wow hasn't said anything incorrect. If he were talking to anyone else, they would probably agree with him. Unfortunately, he is talking to Tatsuko. "Woooow, specific." She shrugs. "Alright, then, keep your secrets. Mystery man with a mystery crime. I'll just have to imagine it myself."

She thinks for a moment, clearly straining herself to have A Thought, before eventually giving up. "…Yeah, I've got nothing right now."