when hot topics meet

Kaoru Naito

Kaoru has pushed his way into the warehouse, where he’s rifling through the shelves with little care, attention not gripped by the boring items. Seeing someone followed him in here, he turns and takes a moment to look her up and down, not nice enough to reply straight away. After a few seconds, he responds:

"What’s it to you? You takin’ role call?”

Ellie Carter

She flips her hair back. "Nah, just taking votes. You think this is Hell or not? Purgatory counts."

Kaoru Naito

Despite initial standoffishness, that gets him into a better mood immediately, snickering to himself.

“Hell? Nah, I think this is worse,” he grins, “I'm thinkin' we’re still alive, unlucky fucks.”

Ellie Carter

cw: the good place spoilers?

He seems fun. Thank god, finally someone fun. She slaps her forehead with a hand.

"Fuuuuck, that's going to suck so bad for me. I was hoping this would be like the Good Place where it's really the Bad Place all along but I can befriend a demon or something who lets me escape in an air balloon? I forgot how that ended. Damn. Do you think they'll give me my free phone call?"

Kaoru Naito

“Nah, don’t think so." He pauses, considering, "… still up in the air on the demons 'n hot air balloons. Don't we have some bitch with horns runnin' around? Maybe those are the real deal, who knows. We could be in a living hell 'a sorts."

Ellie Carter

"Hmmmm. Ain't that just life though?" She blows a strand of hair out of her face. "Aw, fuck it, I can't afford a lawyer anyway. Hey, what are you looking for?"

Kaoru Naito

“Anything man, all I’m findin’s nerd shit and hamster food."

Thinking over her comment, he looks over at her, eyes studying for a moment.

“Whaddya need a lawyer for? The other chicks were squawking 'bout the same shit.”

Ellie Carter

"Weeeeeell, some of us think we got here because we were arrested..."

She gives a little innocent whistle.

Kaoru Naito

He whistles in disbelief before replying, "Wow, a classy lady like yourself got cuffed? What, halfa y'all were if I was hearin' everyone back in the cells right, yeah? Should I be more scared right now? What were ya in for, huh?"

Ellie Carter

"What are you, a cop? Hahaha," she laughs immediately at the idea.

"Just kidding. You're obviously not. I killed a dude. Motherfucker."

Pause.

"Him, that is! Not you. Well, you could be too, hehe."

Kaoru Naito

He squints at her like he doesn't believe it, but is still smiling, humored.

"Aw, lil ol me? You think I could be a motherfucker worth killin'? No way, I'm sweet as honeysuckle, I'm well-bred 'n all that! I'm such a sweetie I wasn't even arrested or nothin', swear on my old man's grave."

Ellie Carter

She squints back at him, grinning, like she doesn't quite believe that either.

"Hah! Sweet as a honeysuckle! Nah, no one who ends up in the brig with me can be that innocent. But I'm sure you're a real sweetheart, despite your dastardly crimes. You know, I'm starting to think from the lack of reaction I keep getting that we all might've killed some motherfucker."

Kaoru Naito

He mulls it over, swaying side to side while he thinks, rocking between his feet and swinging his sleeves around, clanking the buckles on the nearby shelves.

"Hmmm…. You think so? But like, I didn't, for real; my memory's real fuzzy, but I didn't do shit."

Ellie Carter

"Heh, okay. Guess that probably is possible if we died and all. Maybe your head took some damage. Can't really prove you lying! Well, what'dya last remember?"

She offers her own in the hopes to get him yapping more, but also because she's still in shock about it herself.

"I got grabbed as I was stabbing that guy and that's it! I just killed someone about an hour ago, far as I can tell."

Kaoru Naito

If he's offended by the idea of her stabbing someone, it doesn't show. He knocks on the side of his head with his knuckles, thinking. He's trying to recall…

"'bout an hour ago, huh… Remember who grabbed you at all?"

Ellie Carter

"Yeah, for sure. Some cops."

She scratches her head.

"Well, I think they might've been the FBI but those are just the sneakier cops, if ya ask me. That's why I've been saying if we're alive and y'all are stuck here with my ass, we're so fucked. Sorry!"

Kaoru Naito

That quickly took his train of thought away from his own situation. He whistles at that, this time in… admiration, perhaps?

"The FBI? Ya know, ya do look like some kinda James Bond villain—what kinda motherfuckers are you stabbin' that's gettin' the Feds on your ass?"

Ellie Carter

She laughs, loud and cackling, with an adrenaline and madness to her that can now clearly be attributed to the fact she very much believes she just killed a man in the past hour. Perhaps this isn't the usual Ellie.

"That bitch ass motherfucker Price. He was the attorney general or whatever the fuck. Bitch. He's dead now! God, I hope he's really dead…"

Kaoru Naito

His spreading grin gives the impression he's not just believing her, but the crazier she acts the more down with it he is. So she's like, actually a James Bond villain? Stabbing the attorney general? He notes the name in his head.

"He better be, imagine gettin' sent here and the rat didn't even kick it! That'd be hell. If you stabbed him good, the fucker's dyin'."

Ellie Carter

"I'll be so fuckin' mad if I did that and he's not even dead. But I think I got him pretty good. I remember his neck—"

She remembers how her hands were so hot and sweaty that she wasn't even sure if that was blood on them. It's all a bit of a blur. She settles down a bit, now that she's finally got it out.

"… He really pissed me off."

She pokes him in the chest and puts a grin back on her face.

"Stay on my good side, yeah? Hehe."