Lights of Labor Tagil, 1986

Ellie Carter

"No? Of course I'm glad I did it! I mean,"

She pauses, searching her sticker sheet for another good Akemi sticker.

"I maaaay have been in a different situation than the rest of you. Didn't have a lot of hope left so I just wanted to take that fucker out with me. It's actually awesome to hear I'm a murderer because I really wasn't completely sure. My ass was dragged away as I was stabbing him."

She goes back to the question.

"So, are you? Or is it like, aw fuuuuck, now I'm in trouble for it and now I shouldn't have done it."

Emmy | Akemi

"I see." She says, in a slightly less stern voice than before. Hopeless. That was a word for it.

She frowns a little, allowing a few beats of silence at the question, "I am glad he's dead. He deserved it." She said without a hint of doubt in her voice. "It is something I would have preferred to never have to do, but I was under no delusions that I would be free for very long afterward. It is as you implied…it had to be done, and I would have likely done it again a hundred times over, even knowing it would land me here."

Ellie Carter

She pauses, growing more serious as she listens to Akemi. Maybe that's another something they have in common. She puts on a grin.

"Would be nice if lightning just struck these guys down, huh? Life ain't that easy. Gals like us gotta get it done."

And with that, she picks another sticker, placing this one above the other two.

"Welp, we at least agree on all that! Wait, how long had it been since you did it? My last memory was stabbing the guy, but you said you were alone at home when you were grabbed."

Emmy | Akemi

"That would be far kinder a fate than he deserved, but an 'act of God' would have been a welcome reprieve. If only we were so lucky."

If luck has been a real thing, a lot would have been different. Things should have been different.

She paused again, searching her memories. "It hadn't been long. I was at home, as was he, but he was hardly in a state to be considered company by that point."

Ellie Carter

"Oh, so he was there too? Your husband 'er somehtin'?"

She asks that in a way it where it sounds like it would be kind of badass if he was. Girls who kill their husbands are usually cool, in Ellie's book.

Emmy | Akemi

Akemi can't disguise the abject disgust on her face at the insinuation, quickly shaking her head. "My uncle, actually. And who was the man you killed?"

She had been the focus of these questions for too long. Time to shift the attention for a while.

Ellie Carter

Uncle, sure. Uncles can suck too. It doesn't seem to change her attitude much.

"Ooh, my bad. Mine was the United States Attorney General."

She says it far too casually for any confession.

"Told you I was an enemy of the state."

Emmy | Akemi

Akemi raises her eyebrow, clearly trying to discern if she was being fucked with or not.

"Impressive. And I imagine those people who were dragging you off were his bodyguards. It would be hypocritical of me to ask you why you would target such a man, as I do not feel particularly inclined to discuss my reasoning."

Ellie Carter

That's basically implying she's asking anyway, but not going to answer. Well, Ellie can give her a half answer in that case.

"They were the FBI, according to their stupid ass coats. Anyway, do you need to ask? We had the same reason in the end. I wanted him dead! Gyhahaha!"

She throws back her head and laughs, bringing back some of the madness she had entered this prison with.

"Ain't it that simple? I made a choice. He would die! But, you know, folks like him make a lot of choices where people lose their lives everyday. I never see them goin' to prison for those. Pisses me off. I think people like that should walk with a little more fear in their steps."

Emmy | Akemi

"I don't not imagine that is the case for everyone here, given the mixed responses to the announcement. We will find that us wishing someone dead at cost to ourselves is not a common attitude."

Akemi looks at Ellie more directly. The two of them were very, very different people. And yet.

"You're quite right. I've found myself wondering what was so special about what we did, when there are so many people who cause death en masse, for far more selfish reasons. Why us?"

Ellie Carter

Ellie pauses to actually think about that one, chewing on her lip. Huh. It hadn't really occurred to her. Hers was pretty spectacular, after all, but she is just Eloise Carter. Why would she be here? After a moment of silence, she wonders aloud, the thought just occurring to her as she does,

"Is it because we have a chance to be forgiven…?"

Emmy | Akemi

Forgiveness. What a word. Akemi laughs a bitter laugh at the thought of it.

"So, the so-called unforgivable ones don't have the luxury of coming here…how lucky for us."

She shakes her head a little, "I have little intention of asking for forgiveness. It would imply that I feel I was the one who did something wrong. What authority do these wardens have to pass judgment, when they will only get a fleeting glimpse of why we did what we did? Even us being here has already been an act of judgment, to some degree."

Ellie Carter

"Oh, she can laugh! Hey, I'm with ya there. If I was gonna feel sorry or shy about it, I wouldn't have done it in the damn first place."

She's certainly been anything but shy. She shakes her head to get the hair back behind her shoulders.

"I don't wanna have to be convincing anyone about it. I just did what I did. I was sentenced good as dead either way, so it doesn't make a difference what happens to me now…"

But, she doesn't sound completely convinced anymore. What if it does?

Emmy | Akemi

"If I am to be condemned for what I did, so be it. I certainly have no interest in apologizing."

She nods slightly, "I thought I would have at least a few weeks of freedom, before I was caught. Regardless of what their judgment is in here…I see few ways said judgment can impact the consequences we are to face out there. So what if these three forgive me? They cannot undo what I've done, and they cannot grant me my life back."

Unlike Ellie, Akemi seems adamant of this truth. Nothing will return her life to her, now.

Ellie Carter

Ellie didn't expect to relate so much to the rich girl with the fake job. Seems like they're both certain about the same things. Can't undo it, can't get your life back. Ain't that the hard truth. She leans against the cell bars again and gives a melancholy whistle.

"What were your plans for your final weeks of freedom?"

Emmy | Akemi

Akemi is quiet at that question for a short while. The idea that she could have done anything meaningful with that week hadn't really occurred to her. Or, at the very least, nothing she felt she could do with that time would have felt like enough. Truthfully, only one thing came to her.

"I would have gone to see some beautiful art." She said finally. "The kind of art I didn't get to see every day."

Why she was sharing all of this with the brash woman was anyone's guess. Ellie, it seemed, was the first one to think to ask such a thing. They were more alike than she cared to admit.

"What would you do with your time, if you had miraculously managed to escape the clutches of the FBI?"

Ellie Carter

"Hmmm, that's the thing! I had already been on the run for weeks for other shit. What I did with my free time was plan a murder."

And that's something the wardens have promised to share more details on, so she won't bore Akemi with the details. She answers the question before going back to Akemi's answer.

"Now, what sorta art does a gal like you not get to see everyday? Seems like your life woulda been filled with beautiful things."

Emmy | Akemi

"Sounds busy." She said dryly.

Another pause. Ellie was asking the tough questions today, it seemed. A life filled with beautiful things…

"My uncle kept a private collection. I was not given access to that collection, so I would have started there."

Ellie Carter

She whistles at the idea of having a private collection. Imagine that. She thinks about that pharma bro who had the Wu-Tang album. Yeah, her uncle probably deserved it.

"Damn. Do ya know what he had? You know, in terms an uncultured gal like me can get."

Emmy | Akemi

"I'm familiar with several of the pieces, but they are from a lesser-known artist. Flowery, figurative pieces by someone he felt was his charge to 'preserve.' He had always said he would reveal those paintings to the world someday, as if he was going to be the one to 'discover' them."

She glances back at the stickers, then to Ellie, "But, this place is enough like Hell without me having to talk about that fool. Now that I'm here, I suppose I will not have an opportunity to see those works after all."