MILGRAM's Hierarchy of Needs

Andrew Edgeworth

"…if it's an act with an agenda, why would it be dropped for one request-?" Andrew was about to keep talking, completely exasperated, until Hikaru speaks up.

“…For what it’s worth, I had considered that latter possibility. It’s kind of why I thought of doing this alone - I don’t mind if she ends up wanting more from me.”

Oh, he did not like that - the only indication of which being the smallest narrowing of his eyes in Hikaru's direction. Andrew then closes his eyes to internally decompress, sighing to punctuate his compromise.

"Clearly, I am outnumbered here. I do not mind following this group to make sure everything goes smoothly, someone needs to be on the outskirts in the event that Bea has pepper spray on her." It's hard to tell if he's being sarcastic here. "But I am absolutely not participating in your flirtatious charades. Feel free to make fools of yourselves on your own."

Robert McCay

"…Mr. Churchwell, I dunno if you've noticed, but I'm pretty sure Miss Bea finds yer presence, ah-- the opposite of alarmin'."

That's like 80% your gay ass talking, Robert, but okay.

Maybe this was getting out of hand, though. Hikaru's admission made him short-circuit a bit.

"Mr.Suzukiyoushouldn'thavetodoTHAT but yes I agree Miss Bea is most likely to take us seriously about this…"

Before the group got riled up again by Andrew's obvious loathing of the plan, though, (and before HE could second-guess it himself) he tried to rein in control of the conversation.

"Okay okay, look, nobody's gotta flirt if they don't want to. We can employ different strats. Mr. Suzuki can do… his thing, I'll be the gay best friend who compliments her hair and pulls the ol' Bambi Eyes trick, and you two can just-- stand there and look pretty, I guess."

Erin | Vincent Churchwell

Whatever implications of what Hikaru had said initially fly over Vincent's head, missing the context as he is, but the context itself comes slamming into not too long after with what Andrew and Robert says and makes Vincent do a double take.

"Finds me the… opposite of alarming…? What do you…" What… Oh. OH…. Hold on Vincent is still processing the word flirt there too, and sputters for a moment. Hoooooooold on- "Wait a moment, I'm… I'm not sure if flirting is something I should be… I'm married??"

Vincent is suddenly standing up very straight and trying to remain serious, but ???? The alternative to flirting was to stand there and there and look pretty??? AAAAAAA He is battling with the urge to bury his head in his hands so hard right now from embarrassment. Thankfully for their plan, however, this also means he's currently frozen in place for any pretty man aura needs they might require <3

Hikaru Suzuki

Hikaru almost feels more disconcerted that people are reacting to his off-hand comment, what was there to object to there? He's literally taking one for the team guys, come on…

"It'll be fine, I'm things aren't going to get that out of hand."

He knows he's not the most reliable-seeming guy, but he's not as chaotic as some here. Surely things couldn't go that badly.

Vincent's reaction does get a slight giggle from him, though he does hold back the worst of it - and worse even, his thought that 'well, that doesn't have to stop you'. Thankfully his expression doesn't betray those thoughts!

"Don't even worry about it. Just be yourself," he says 'reassuringly', then raises his eyebrows as he sees movement at the other end of the corridor. "Oh - speak of the devil…"

MILGRAM

The devil herself now arrived on the scene, sauntering up to the towering group of men with zero hesitation.

"Ohohoho, what did I walk into here? The finalists of the 20XX Mr. Metrosexual beauty pageant? Can I get an autograph?"

Andrew Edgeworth

Andrew rolls his eyes, smoothly transitioning into a pointed glare at Robert and Hikaru; it's practically a dare to lay it on as thick as possible. This was SUCH a good idea, huh?

Robert McCay

Okay, it was showtime. Robert made a little face back at Andrew real quick, but as soon as he turned to face the warden, he was all baby blue eyes and Southern charm.

"Oh Miss Bea, we were just talking about 'cha! How are you doin' this fine--"

He darted his head back to check the clock in the shower room.

"--afternoon?"

Erin | Vincent Churchwell

BE HIMSELF??? What kind of instruction was- Oh no she was here, there really Wasn’t time to ponder that.

Vincent’s posture immediately straightens up (and God even among a group of tall people he is Tall), and he gives a small polite nod to Bea.

“…Hello Ms. Bea. If you’re free for a moment, I believe we have something to collectively request from you; Namely, a fix to the sorry state that the bathroom amenities are in.”

Well, maybe Vincent’s ‘be himself’ was in fact just straight up ask with full formality GXCHJFGJ

“Unfortunately, it seems like we only have ‘5-in-1’ soap meant for all of us to use, and we have decided that we aren’t satisfied with this.” …A pause. “If… would be willing to hear us out, I would be fully willing to give my own signature.”

There, that wasn’t ‘flirting’ it was just… it was just going along with her bit, it was Fine, everything would be Ok.

Hikaru Suzuki

It's not that Hikaru's natural body language is reserved, but as soon as Bea shows up he somehow even becomes even more coquettish, giving her a winning smile he has clearly been saving up for this moment. Sorry Andrew, you're getting entirely ignored.

Well, Vincent has somewhat taken the wind from the sails of his plan, but it's fine, he can still work with this.

"I'm sure you understand how difficult it is for us modern men to keep up our beauty pageant looks without a little help - some real toiletries would be such a treat… I'm sure we could even get a word in to invite you as a guest judge."

She gave them a lead in which Vincent had played on, he's not going to miss that chance, even if it's less direct than he might have otherwise gone with.

MILGRAM

"Oh, would you? If there's one thing I love, it's judging people's physical appearances by arbitrary personal and cultural standards~" Bea laughed. "I'm going to be so, so real with you all, though..."

"…I was coming down here to see if your shower room had something that wasn't 5-in-1! Of course Ei's like 'what's the big deal,' and Sie's like 'well at least they gave us something,' saying 'they' like... the rabbit? You mean the RABBIT? What the hell does IT know about hair care?!"

"Or like... the prison?? Sie did say something about 'asking the MILGRAM' for stuff, and it's..." She gestured vaguely. "Shown up? Like, Star Trek replicator bullshit?"

"If I think too hard about all this, I might go coo coo bananas~ But sure, fuck it, I'll ask. Any brand preferences, boys? BUT you have to say please…"

The heart emoji on the end of that sentence was practically audible. Oh boy.

Erin | Vincent Churchwell

Oh god the embarrassment of this was gonna kill Vincent faster than anything else at this rate-

…Except, huh??? Bea's revelation that actually, SHE was looking to get that changed for herself too completely throws Vincent for a loop, and suddenly his brain is just a loading circle stalling out for a few moments.

"The… You… The rabbit???" Give him a moment, he's almost done processing. After a second, Vincent coughs, and turns that cough just as quickly into clearing his throat. Ok, back to serious.

"Ahem. …Yes, thank you Ms. Bea, I think that would be for the best for all of us if you could, please." Well, that was a boringly formal way to say please, but he still did it- "I'm willing to defer to others choices for brand or other requests, as long as a separate shampoo, conditioner, hand soap, and body soap or shower gel are included at a minimum, with moisturizer also on the table. …I will also please request that this either be given to all prisoners individually, or provided in bulk if it's going to be a single shipment to allow use from any who need it." …or replication or whatever.

Maybe someone Else here can cash in on some actual charm here to really get things happening here, because doubtable if Vincent really has any.

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